Sunday, 4 March 2012

Storytelling Sunday: School stories

It's time for Sian's Storytelling Sunday again which means you can grab a tea (or delicious beverage or your choice, naturally.  Or even a not-delicious beverage, but that's your choice and we seem to have gone off on a tangent so I'll get back to the point.  Still with me?  Good.  The point will be arriving any moment now.  Wait for it....here it comes!) and head on over to Sian's to find a whole variety of memories and tales from those who inhabit blogland.

I've got a selection of little anecdotes from school for this week.  One day I'll stick them in my memoirs and give after dinner speeches.  For now, it's enough for me to know that my job, teaching maths, makes me laugh every day.

*****

I'm currently mentoring  a trainee teacher who's doing a placement at our school for a few weeks.  He's taken over some of the teaching of my A-level class.  I perch inconspicuously at the back of the room, generally being responsible and trying to pretend that I'm not there.  Whilst looking encouraging.  However, on a Friday afternoon, he found them to be rather chatty.  Instead of worky.

He waited patiently for the most talkative student to finish his sentence and smiled pleasantly at him.

"Do you ever stop talking?"

The student considered this. "I don't talk the most in this room, sir."

"No?  Who talks the most?"

As one man, the class swiveled around and looked at me.  I quirked an eyebrow back at them.  I knew what would follow.  But before I could do anything, James cheerfully piped up.

"Miss Smith.  Definitely."  They nodded agreement. "She talks all the time and sometimes she runs out of stuff to tell us, but she just looks up more stuff on Wikipedia and tells us that because she says its interesting.  Last time it was fridge magnets*."

This was sadly true.

You can't argue with the truth.  I carried on pretending not to be there.

*****

Overheard in the corridor....


The teacher frowned at the student before him and inquired, "So why did you take his pencil, Andrew?"

"Because he was annoying me."

The teacher persevered.  "And was that a sensible thing to do?"

"No, sir."

"What should you have done if he was annoying you?" the teacher prompted.

The student glared up at him.  "I should have broken his pencil."

*****

The Year 7s seemed a little downcast after the student council meeting.  Why?

"I don't think people took us seriously miss."

"What makes you say that?"

"All the older students laughed at us when we said we wanted bigger balls."  His expression darkened. "I don't think they thought we meant footballs, miss."

*****

And what did the Year 9s ask for in the student council?

"We wanted to talk about safety in the corridors miss.  All the year sevens are about this big-" he gestured perhaps three feet off the ground, "-and they all run around in big groups and today a load of them ran into me in the corridor."

I assumed a sympathetic expression. "What did you do?"

"I fell over, miss."

*****

Back later during the week with some craftyness - yay!  A quiet weekend and a bit of free time is all you need sometimes.

Kisses xxx

P.S. The fridge magnets thing is a long story for another time.  Just to clarify, I do not collect fridge magnets. Nor do I wish to start doing so.  But I would like to know who first saw a fridge door and thought to themselves; "Hey!  What this really needs is a magnet..."


30 comments:

  1. My poor year 7s... I think they're still traumatised after that meeting!

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  2. You should absolutely write your memoirs ~ no need to wait for retirement, make a start right now!

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  3. Oh, and in fact, if I remember correctly, what my form *actually* wanted was 'bigger balls to play with'... Bless them.

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  4. i love ur school stories, they're the best laugh ever. love the story of miss smith and wikipedia, a vital teaching aid i must say. when i was teaching sixth form wikipedia was banned from essay writing so the students felt ganged up on. mind u trying to keep them off of bebo and facebook was a challenge at times. i do have some fridge magnets but they are cultural ones heehee, like quotes and stuff,
    jo xxx

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  5. Great story Miss Smith. My children, the 14 year old, the 11 year old and the 7 year old all are my most frequent source of deep down in my tummy laughs :)

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  6. I love your stories about school life - they make me laugh out loud.

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  7. lol oh the joys of teenagers :)

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  8. I do love your school stories. they definitely need to be recorded somewhere

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  9. The joys of teaching! Thank you for the best laugh I've had all weekend (my Year 9 is currently away at a GIFT weekend, thinking up difficult questions for the world (philosophy!) and pretending he's someone else (drama). He's the best source of laughs in this house, for sure!).

    I laughed out loud, at the first story. And I would love to hear about the Fridge Magnets. One day soon, perhaps? Pretty please?

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  10. Your stories are fabulous as always, "I should have broken his pencil" genius, as my boy would say. I agree, start your memoires right now.

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  11. I think your teaching life will be the source of many more stories to come. They always make me smile.

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  12. Getting writing that book it will be a best seller!

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  13. I love your classroom stories, I would love to hear their version of the stories sometime!

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  14. A lovely tale once again! The stories I overhear teaching my big kids are not to ever be repeated anywhere! Truly hair raising stories!

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  15. Your school stories always make me giggle, and they're even better when you read them out loud which is what I do so that my other half hears them too!

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  16. your stories never fail to make me laugh. love em xx

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  17. thanks for making me giggle

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  18. There really is nothing better than school stories!!

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  19. I'm falling about laughing at the thought of teaching maths making you laugh..but I'm guessing you knew I'd say that. I'm very glad to be here, as an uncooperative internet connection has blown a big hole in my storytelling enjoyment today. An extremely delicious beverage took the edge off my frustration and of course your post has been worth the wait :)

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  20. ha ha ha! I just love these stories! They make me smile every time. Priceless. Oh and when you write those memoirs please send a copy!

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  21. Great stories. I collect overheards from my job at Uni ... you know, if we both team up with someone in primary school, nursery and FE we could cover the full gamut of the education system in overheards ... and publish a book! ;-)

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  22. when are you going to publish a book of your school stories??? They are so amusing xxx

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  23. ...and yet again I laughed out loud! I'm pre-ordering the memoirs!
    Alison xx

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  24. Hi,
    I'm also a teacher, so I loved your stories! Thanks for sharing.
    Cheers from France

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  25. These are delightful school stories; thanks for sharing.

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  26. Hey great stories. As part of a lesson on dystopia's i asked my sixth form what they would miss about school if they had to be taught by a robot 8-4 and they said 'your random stories about cupcakes miss' hmmm I couldn't decide if this was a good thing or not. Random isn't always the best adjective!

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  27. Your poor student teacher has a lot to live up to!

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  28. Great set of stories this month. Children say it exactly as it is and I am so glad you can share them. A wonderful start to the week.

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  29. Another great set of anecdotes to brighten up a Monday evening! You really should collect them together as memoirs :)

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  30. This post made me laugh so much, definitely write you memoirs now :)

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